Your job is like your relationship
So.. I was down on my thought the other day and came to a conclusion that a job is just like a relationship.. Let’s check some examples…
The successful Satisfying Relationship
Not much to talk about here, you both get what you need and even more, have a sense of completeness and don’t want to imagine living without each other.
You don’t want to settle down (at least for now), or you still haven’t found the right one, so you are always open for new experiences and/or keep contacts with the ones that offered you the previous.
Your other half offers you some of the things you need, you might love it, but you lack that sense of completeness.You usually tend to keep hoping that things will change for the best (which rarely do) or keep your eyes open until you find something that seems more promising. Sometimes you might even be a little naughty and proceed to having new experiences (without thinking of abandoning your base) just in order to satisfy secondary needs and be able to stay on your base. Sometimes his base knows the truth, but keeps looking the other way because it also doesn’t want their ways to part. Sometimes it might even encourage him in order to keep him happy but still having him return home at the end of the day.
This category has elements of both the previous ones… He can maintain a base that he doesn’t really care about and take on as many experiences as he can find. Again the base might react with the same way as with the previous. The difference is that while the previous does it in a moderate rate and in order to be able to maintain his base, the opportunist focuses more on the outer experiences and sort of fools his base and keeps it just because it can fulfill some basic needs… If he could break out of the need of safety, he would probably prefer being like the swinger.
The Failed Relationship/Marriage
Here one or both partners are feeling that their journey together has reached an end and nothing productive can out of this. They can still love each other, but the passion is gone. There is more bitching about than cuddling. Then they remember the great times they had together and think that there is a chance to return to that state, or just “stay together for the kids”. Sometimes they even wait until the kids have grown and decide to split their ways.
What advice would you give to each of the above… Ok, the first doesn’t need any, he is happy just the way thing are. The second also… if he ever feels a need to stop fooling around ans settle down he probably will, and will have had many experiences by then and probably not regret it. The third and fourth? I would probably tell them to stop fooling their other half and move on, which (according to the circumstances) would also be my suggestion to the fifth. Now, if the problems on our relationships are similar to the ones on our jobs, shouldn’t be the solutions? What’s the point on staying to a job that doesn’t satisfy you…? The first step would probably be to talk to them and tell them what you feel is wrong. Be it the salary, the benefits, the workload they might provide a solution for it. Sometimes though, you have reached a point where no matter what they offer you, the passion is gone and you just need to try something new, instead of staying and trying little tweaks to make things better.